The somewhat mundane adventures of a guy who keeps ending up in Asia... and his random musings.

Since my time in Japan is now limited to that of "extended vacation" I have started looking back on my experiences and looking forward to how I can apply them to my life in America. One of the things that I have had to do in Japan is find alternate means of transportation. In America I was used to either driving myself to where I needed to go or bumming a ride off of friends. Unfortunately out here I have no motor vehicle and getting a native Japanese to give you a ride is nigh on impossible (I have a story about that, but I will save it for my next post). Of course I use the bus and train, but I also started riding a bicycle to get from here to there.

So after being bombarded with various flash cartoons explaining why I am killing the environment I thought, "well, I don't really care, but what the hell... maybe I'll still ride a bike to do errands when I get home. It's healthy and ecologically friendly." But here in Japan I live in a pretty big city... nothing is more than about two or three miles away. Any type of bike will get you to where you are going and you don't have to think much about pacing. In America I live in a suburb of either Chicago or Detroit, both of which are very spread out. I figured if I wanted to continue riding a bike in the States I should look up some tips on what to buy, types of bicycle, etc.

I looked up "commuter bicycling" and a couple variations of that phrase and came up with mostly personal web pages and forums discussing the use of a pedal bicycle as a commuting vehicle. Now, I had heard before that environmental people can be very annoying at times, and that those who ride bikes to commute are very "holier than thou". I didn't really believe it until I started reading the web sites. I looked up about 10 pages, and each and every one was written by a douche bag.

The first I saw was written by some old guy who goes on about how in order to really commute on a bike you must ride something like twenty miles a day and train on the weekends. Basically he is a true bicycle enthusiast who is trying to get others to become the same through a combination of guilt and oddly empty promises (you will be more sexually attractive if you bicycle more!) He also included one of the dorkiest things you can on a website, a list of "ways to know you are a cycle enthusiast". (I don't have the link at the moment, I'll post it when I find it again.)

The next site starts out telling you that you ride a bike wrong. Pretty much no matter what, unless you follow the same regiment as these people, you ride a bike incorrectly. Again the author comes off as a douche and tells you once again that in order to simply commute to work you must train in your free time. I also find it amusing that on both websites they list "companionship (ride with a friend!)" as a perk to bicycle commuting. I personally would never want to even hang out with these people, let alone ride a bike with them.
Douche bag #2's site:
http://www.bicyclinglife.com/PracticalCycling/commuteguide.htm

The forums were all the same: Bicycle folks complaining. They complain about other, "poser" cyclists, they complain about cars, they complain about not having bike paths, they complain about the bike paths they have... it's just silly. Occasionally they will have a thread about equipment or technique, but as far as I could see it always just degraded into a "my way is best! NO! MY way is best!" style argument.

So after doing some research I have decided not to continue my cycling when I return to the United States. According to everything I have read I will have to devote a fair amount of time to simply getting in good enough shape to ride a bike as a commuter, and after that I will have to use a lot of my free time to keep up that condition. Other bike commuters will cast a very critical eye on me and most likely judge me as a "fair weather" environmentalist or poser or whatever. Even if I did get into good enough shape, I would apparently become an elitist asshole with a subtle but biting sense of unwarranted self importance.

So there you have it, I have been convinced to use only motor vehicles by opponents of motor vehicles. A word of advice to commuter bicycle proponents: Don't tell people they suck at riding then say they should ride a bike. It's confusing.

Also, as a personal note, they never addressed my main excuse for not wanting to ride a bike: I don't want to and it wouldn't be fun.

-Maru!